


What’s a Kiss?

by DestinyIslandWanderer



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Canon Universe, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, One Shot, Organization XIII (Kingdom Hearts)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:35:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23312473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestinyIslandWanderer/pseuds/DestinyIslandWanderer
Summary: “But whatisa kiss?” Roxas asked.Axel wasn’t sure how far to entertain this train of thought. Roxas was young and completely innocent, and Axel didn’t want to do anything to ruin that. Not that he hadn’t thought about it. There was no denying that Roxas was attractive, and Axel had a particularly soft spot for blondes.Axel kisses Roxas for the first time.
Relationships: Axel/Roxas (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 34





	What’s a Kiss?

Roxas had been acting weird today. Even though he wasn’t an expert at emotions, Axel could sense it.

Axel and Roxas had been friends since the day Roxas had shown up at Organization XIII headquarters and Axel had been assigned to watch over him. His job was to make sure Roxas followed orders, but Axel had gladly taken it a step further by teaching Roxas everything he knew.

Unlike the other members of the Organization who tended to bully Roxas for his small stature and young age (with few exceptions), Axel adored him and had become his closest confidante. Roxas had been born without any of Sora’s memories, so he’d had to rely on Axel to learn everything from basic vocabulary to the social skills it took to succeed in the Organization. 

Still, as much as Axel tried to impart his wisdom, Roxas remained painfully shy and unsure of himself. It didn’t help that everyone constantly called missions with him “babysitting” and complained whenever they were assigned to be his partner. Axel tried to shield him from their derision as much as possible, but Saix and Xemnas were starting to get suspicious of his motivations and worried the two of them might be plotting something unsavory. This couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Unlike Axel, Roxas wasn’t a rule breaker. He did everything by the book and was extremely eager to please. This had the opposite of the intended effect, and made him an easier target for those who disliked him. Their fellow Organization members weren’t exactly known for their kindness and generosity. They were incapable of real feelings, and Roxas’s vulnerability and sweetness did him no favors. Axel used to get along with the rest of the Organization perfectly, but now that he was getting to know Roxas, he had begun to hate them, and it was starting to show in his job performance. 

But what did he care about all of them? Protecting Roxas was his first priority now. He arrived at the clock tower with two sea salt ice creams, a daily tradition, and handed one to Roxas. He blushed when Axel made eye contact with him, and he knew his best friend must be hiding something.

“What’s up, Roxas?” 

Roxas glanced at him before staring at his lap.

“C’mon, you know you can tell me anything,” Axel assured him.

"Yes, well, I… Can I ask you something?" Roxas said, studiously avoiding eye contact.

"Of course. What can I explain for you today? I don’t know what else to say about that huge whale we saw in the sky. It didn’t make sense to me either, but apparently Demyx has been _inside_ it, and it sounds bonkers. He said there’s an old man and a living puppet stuck inside, but we all know Demyx tends to exaggerate so who can say for sure? Maybe I can figure out a way to take you there if you really want to go?”

“No, it’s not about that… It’s something Xigbar and Larxene said.”

“I swear, they are going to burn next time I see them. I _hate_ the way they gang up on you!” Axel had too much angry energy to contain. He started pacing, debating how much trouble he could get in for starting a fight. He’d warned them both to lay off Roxas before. Maybe it would take a more poignant physical reminder to make them get the point. 

Roxas stood up and took his arm. “Axel, wait - it’s nothing bad. It’s just… they asked if I’d kissed anyone, and I don’t know what that means. They were teasing me about it.”

“Oh,” Axel said, immediately calming down. Roxas leaned against the clock tower facing Axel, who did the same. “Well, it’s not important. Just ignore them. I bet they were just trying to get a rise out of you.”

“You’re not going to tell me what a kiss is?”

“Uhh…”

“Ugh. I honestly didn’t even know if I should ask you. It’s embarrassing that I haven’t done it, right?” 

His genuine distress was so endearing. Axel couldn’t make him think he was some kind of freak for not having kissed anyone. 

“A lot of people haven’t kissed anyone before. You’re young. You’ll kiss someone. I’m sure of it.”

“Have you… kissed someone?”

“Er, yeah…”

Roxas looked disappointed, and Axel took a step closer. 

“It’s seriously no big deal.”

“But what _is_ a kiss?”

Axel wasn’t sure how far to entertain this train of thought. Roxas was young and completely innocent, and Axel didn’t want to do anything to ruin that. Not that he hadn’t _thought_ about it. There was no denying that Roxas was attractive, and Axel had a particularly soft spot for blondes.

The problem was that he was supposed to protect Roxas, and he was already doing a bad job of it. Between the missions at Castle Oblivion and the things Saix was forcing him to do in private, he wasn’t always making Roxas’s life easier. He kept promising himself he wouldn’t let Saix and Xemnas do anything to harm his best friend, but he had to keep up a facade to please them, and sometimes it required sacrifices. He still felt guilty about it no matter how hard he tried to justify his actions.

“Nevermind. I shouldn’t have asked,” Roxas mumbled. 

Axel couldn’t stand how upset he looked. “It’s when two people touch lips,” he revealed.

“What?” Roxas exclaimed, as though this were the most surprisingly silly thing he’d ever heard. “That’s all? Seems kind of… I don’t know. They made it sound more important.”

Axel was afraid Roxas was going to be bullied further if he continued without the particulars, so he clarified, “Well, it’s… I guess it’s more than that. You kiss someone when you like them.”

“Hmmm… Well, I like you. Why haven’t we kissed?”

His expression was so innocent. He had no idea what he was really asking and no concept of the fire it was lighting in Axel’s imagination. He decided to evade the question. “When you kiss someone, it changes your relationship with that person forever.” Perhaps Roxas would just accept this explanation and move on, and Axel could keep being his best friend and his hero and nothing more. Or maybe…

“What does it _feel like_? I mean what makes it so special?” Roxas was looking at him with an imploring intensity. Could he possibly know more than he was letting on? Axel wasn’t sure, but he felt Roxas’s eyes daring him down a dangerous path.

“It’s not something that can really be explained.”

“Can’t you try?” Their faces were moving irresistibly closer, and Axel knew he couldn’t fight temptation much longer.

“I think I’d have to show you for you to really understand.”

“Show me,” Roxas whispered, and the invitation was all he needed. 

He closed the distance between them and planted a chaste but lingering kiss on Roxas’s lips. He moved away to gauge Roxas’s reaction, and the awe and raw emotion in his eyes was so tender, he couldn’t stop himself. He placed one hand gently on the side of his neck, softly braiding his fingers through Roxas’s hair as he placed a series of deep kisses on his throat. The small gasps he let out each time Axel’s lips touched his skin were so satisfying, he was overcome by desire as he pressed his lips to Roxas’s again, fully parting them with enough force to will Roxas’s mouth to mimic the movements of his own.

As with everything else Axel taught him, Roxas didn’t need much training. Axel felt as though all his past lovers had been mere practice for this moment, so he could give Roxas the perfect first kiss. Never had he been so in sync with a lover, never had someone reciprocated his effort with so much of their own. It felt like Axel’s first kiss too. 

Axel would’ve kissed him all day, but Roxas gently broke away. They looked into each other’s eyes, and Roxas looked as flushed and surprised as Axel felt. 

“That’s not what I expected,” Roxas whispered. 

“Yeah, me either,” Axel smiled. “You’re good at that, you know.”

Roxas smiled back, and Axel felt dizzied by the beautiful sight.

“Can I ask you something else without you getting mad?” 

“Sure.” 

“Do you _really_ not know what happened to Zexion?”

Axel panicked because he _did_ know. Axel had murdered him. He’d only done it because Saix had forced his hand and insisted that Roxas would be next if he hesitated. The problem was, Zexion had been one of the only Organization members who was nice to Roxas. Roxas had liked him and gone out of his way to say so. Axel hadn’t wanted to do it. How much of the truth did Roxas suspect, and what could Axel possibly say in his own defense?

“Nevermind, Axel,” Roxas sighed. “You told me you don’t know. I should’ve believed you. It’s just, I have dreams about him. I just wonder if he’s okay. Sometimes I worry…”

Axel had never felt this level of gut-wrenching regret. It was visceral and painful, and he couldn’t stand looking into Roxas’s innocent eyes, knowing what he’d done. He felt horrible for kissing him. He’d known it was a bad idea. He’d told himself to resist, and he’d been so good about it until today. Roxas deserved someone better than him. 

“Roxas, I should go.”

“No, please don’t! I promise, I believe you. I don’t even know why I thought of it,” he pleaded. 

“It’s not that, Roxas. I just think maybe we shouldn’t meet up here anymore.” Seeing Roxas’s defeated expression, he added, “It’s nothing you did wrong. Trust me. I just…”

He bounded down the clock tower steps and opened a portal back to Organization headquarters, rushing to his room where he fell down on his knees and felt a familiar sensation that he recognized from Lea’s memories. It was the desire to cry, but he couldn’t. There was no release from the torture he felt. He kicked his nightstand instead and the metal lamp clattered to the floor. He found the destruction so satisfying, he threw it against the wall before slumping into his chair. 

He should definitely avoid Roxas in the future, but after a kiss like that, how could he?

**Author's Note:**

> This one-shot was written to accompany my Axel/Roxas love story [No One Would Miss Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23032093). 
> 
> Thanks for reading! 💛


End file.
